Where the F#ck are we?
The late John Moriarty, wise man and mystic told a story about the night he walked an inebriated neighbour home along the dark country roads of the west of Ireland.
The neighbour was going though a hard time, hence why he’d overindulged in the pub. Half way home the neighbour leaned against a wall to catch his breath and while looking up at the stars asked, “John, John, where are we John?”
John, sensing the mans confusion and aware that he was in his elder years started to give a detailed explanation of their location. “We’re almost at the bridge beside the great oak, we’ll go up the hill, pass Healy’s farm and you’ll be home.”
The elderly neighbour suddenly became lucid, shifted his gaze from the stars to John and said, “John, I know where we are, but where the f#ck are we?”
I love this story not just for it’s Irish humour but because it sums up perfectly the first stage of the transformational journey which occurs we go through a major life change.
The first step of the transformational journey involves crossing the threshold into the unknown. You are leaving behind who you were, but you don’t know who you are becoming. This can be very unsettling and discombobulating.
One of my sister’s is currently in this phase. Her marriage of almost 20 years has ended. She knows where she is (at home with her two children) but she also has no idea where she is or who she is in herself. As unsettling as this is, it’s exactly where she’s supposed be at this point of the journey.
In times gone by we had Ritual Elders in our communities who understood how to steward these transitions / rites of passage.
The person going through the rite of passage would be removed (sometimes forcibly) by the Ritual Elders from the security of their home to signify leaving the known and the familiar, to consciously enter into liminal space. The initiate would have been supported, guided and cared for as they moved through the six phases of the alchemical journey, until they were ready to emerge, transformed.
Today we often have to navigate the transformational process while trying to get on with life, work, pay bills or raise a family. This is hard! And it can be doubly hard if you don’t understand what’s happening. This is often the phase where I hear people say “I think I’m going mad”. You’re not. But you are dissolving, dying to who you were and this brings up a lot of emotions for processing.
The catalyst for transition is different for everyone but it can be:
Having a baby
Separation or divorce
A significant illness, accident or health issue
Losing your job
Up-levelling in your career
Menopause
Children leaving home
Starting a business
Embarking on a new creative project
Depression
Death of a loved one
If you’re in the thick of “I know where I am, but where the f#ck am I?” please know you don’t have to navigate this on your own. Find someone to support you who knows how to steward a rite of passage, or reach out to me about my Crossing the Threshold program.
You are not going mad, but you have stepped into the alchemical fire, and you are in the process of being transformed. Go gently and embrace it!
All my love on the journey,
Catherine